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While you might think it's over-the-top to express your desire, people actually really like that. "Men and women want to feel desired and wanted and this sends a message of ambiguity, which will hold you back in love," says Bonnie Winston, a celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert. But if you can be honest about your feelings, and even a little flirty, you might find yourself on a few more dates.
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"Mad texting is always trouble, so take some tips from to keep it fair. "Wait until you cool off a bit, and your head is clearer," says professional matchmaker Bonnie Winston. "Impulsively sprouting mean or nasty remarks by text cannot be undone easily. As hard as it might be, give yourself some time to calm down and reason, and think it through. This goes for partners, as well as anyone you really care about."
"This film can be fun to watch, for the pure nostalgia of it all. But Breakfast at Tiffany's can also strike up meaningful conversation. "You could discuss what your feelings were initially for each other, and what your 'end goals' are currently," matchmaker and relationship expert Bonnie Winston tells Bustle. "Have they changed... and what are they now? It could also spark a realistic conversation about money, values about love, and what you would or would not do for money.”
If your sex life starts to slow down, don't panic. "[It] doesn’t mean you have a loveless [relationship]," Bonnie Winston, a celebrity matchmaker, tells Bustle. "Decades of proven evidence says that the average couple’s passion lasts just a few years. That means if you aren't really compatible in other areas, there's a good chance that your relationship won't stand the test of time." So, the fact you're still together, even though you're no longer having sex 24/7, can be a sign of high compatibility."
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"I have a client who, despite the external evidence that she is drop dead gorgeous, believes herself to be a fraud who does not deserve the men she always attracts," Celebrity Matchmaker and Relationship Expert Bonnie Winston tells Bustle. "She once remarked that a man I fixed her up with must be 'vision impaired' to have been attracted to her and liked her. She also said it was 'just good timing.'
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3. Connect in spite of distance and busy schedules.
We understand how life can be — you’re traveling every week for work and your partner always seems to have work events on the nights you’re actually home, or you’ve just been ships passing in the night lately because of your entirely opposite (yet equally cluttered) social calendars. Is there ever an end to the chaos? Not really, which is why it’s important to learn to work around the limitations of time and space. You can still connect with your S.O. and create that spark when you’re separated! For couples dealing with a difficult travel schedule, matchmaker and relationship expert Bonnie Winston suggests choosing a book and taking turns reading chapters to each other over the phone each night, which will build a nightly routine around intimacy, instead of just watching TV alone. Similarly, licensed marriage and family therapist Rajani Venkatraman encourages busy couples to keep the romance going with small gestures. “Romance and passion do not rely on constant physical presence,” she says. “In fact, they thrive quite well on the gaps between connection, as long as we keep the connection well fed. Leave your lover a note tucked in the cereal box, a heart drawn on the misty bathroom mirror, a sexy goodbye kiss as a promise of more.”
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It seems like such a simple thing, but a person with a crush will always hear what you say and make an effort to show their appreciation. So, if this potential partner is always responding to you with a laugh or a smile, take note. As matchmaker Bonnie Winston says, "If they giggle at your jokes, that may be a subtle way of flirting."
While not necessarily classic signs of flirting, these little gestures are still the real deal. And they might even mean that nervous, slightly standoffish person is actually totally into you.
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1. THEY’RE ALWAYS ON THE CLOCK.
Whether they’re shopping for groceries, waiting in a doctor’s office, or traveling on vacation, matchmakers always have their eyes peeled for ideal partners for their clients. “Being a matchmaker is not a 9 to 5 job,” matchmaker and dating coach Bonnie Winston tells Mental Floss. “24 hours, seven days a week is more like it. My employees go home, but I never close!”
Winston, who often works on weekends and evenings, also gives her clients dating advice before, during, and after dates. “It is not unusual that clients call me with inquiries about what they should wear before certain dates,” she says. “Or, I’ll get calls in whispered hush tones—secretly from bathrooms in dining establishments—to ask me questions on etiquette, or if they can hook up with their date because they have great chemistry,” Winston says.
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"It's expensive to go out to dinner, so I totally understand why that might not be a possibility every week or even every month. But if you're ordering in every night and then eating on the couch, it might just mean laziness has set in. "Don’t wait for an anniversary to put some spark back into things," says Bonnie Winston, a NYC-based celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert. "Try getting dressed up and going out for a date night instead." Even if it just means walking around the park."
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"The good news? Chances are you have seen that person in their natural, authentic state, says dating coach and matchmaker Bonnie Winston—since you've seen how they act as they handle pressure, deadlines, and responsibilities. What happens under those fluorescent office lights makes it a lot easier to see someone clearly than when the lights are dim over a glass of wine."
"...Law firms are also typically against interoffice relationships, Winston says."
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"Sociopaths are sometimes terminally unemployed. They can't seem to hold down a job because of their attitudes and will blame it on everyone but themselves.
"They are so antisocial they burn their bridges at work and blame everyone else but themselves for their inability to succeed," relationship coach and matchmaker Bonnie Winston told INSIDER."
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Kenneth Sugarman and Bonnie Winston
Met: Memorial Day weekend, 2001
Engaged: Dec. 13, 2001
Projected Wedding Date: May 11, 2002
By day, Bonnie Winston runs Winston West, a glamorous bicoastal photo agency that represents fashion and celebrity photographers. By night-she’s a yenta !
Everywhere she goes, Ms. Winston who is blond and bubbly, keeps a running tab of her friends’ and acquaintances’ vital statistics, scribbling them down in a little red appointment book.
“I talk to everybody ,” she said. Recently, she bragged, she sidled up to Sex and the City actor John Corbett at a bar and hooked him up with a work pal of hers, a fashion model named Krista Cassidy.
Last Memorial Day weekend, a friend of Ms. Winston’s dragged her out to East Hampton, hoping to get a piece of that matchmaking action. They went to a place called the Grill. “My whole theory is, go somewhere that used to be trendy,” said Ms. Winston. She was munching on a cheeseburger and fries when she glanced to her left and noticed an attractive older man in sweat pants and loafers, sipping a white-wine spritzer.
“How about that guy?” she asked her friend.
“Why don’t you like him?” her friend asked.
“He’s a little Robert Blake–ish,” she said, “and my name is Bonnie.”
But she struck up a conversation nonetheless and learned that his name was Kenneth Sugarman, that he was a perfectly respectable general-practice lawyer specializing in civil litigation, and that he was in the Hamptons helping his daughter from a first marriage celebrate her graduation from Manhattan’s Trinity School.
When they met the following Thursday at Balthazar, Ms. Winston was pleasantly surprised.
“He really cleaned up well,” she said. “I thought him more Robert Downey Jr. than Baretta.”
Make that Mike Brady: Mr. Sugarman, a lawyer told her almost immediately that he wanted to remarry and have more kids. Phew .
Months later, the pair was snuggling together in his Noho loft, watching the final round of Jeopardy . The category was U.S. Presidents. “This man,” said Alex Trebek on the TV, “was elected Vice President twice and President twice.”
Naturally, it was at this moment that Mr. Sugarman turned to Ms. Winston and proposed.
Her response: “Yes! Nixon!”
(Hey, she forgot to put it in the form of a question!)
“I never get Final Jeopardy right, so I look at it as a sign,” she said. “I was so excited that I knew the answer that I couldn’t let it go. I’m a really big multi-tasker.”
That same night, she set up two close friends and they all went out on a double date.
– Blair Golson